Another insane week in energy. OPEC trimmed another 2 million barrels per day, but did anyone care? Not so much. Frankly, this thrills me. I’m giddy over here. OPEC is angry about falling prices, OPEC cuts production, prices fall $3.50 yesterday and $4 today. I feel like Shaq on stage at a Miami nightclub. “Kobe, how’s my ass taste? OPEC how’s my ass taste?” I’m not even going to dignify their “news flashes” any more. From now on, they will be called supply ‘cutes’ as they are clearly not worthy of the name ‘cuts’. The 600 pound gorilla in the room remains demand, but it’s looking more and more like the rest of the room is empty: there’s just King Kong.
Speaking of King Kong, it is official that Brock Lesnar is the biggest star in the UFC. Though they were only his first three fights in the organization, he was the most purchased PPV name in the organization’s roster. Apparently the economy isn’t so bad for Zuffa, as Lesnar’s last fight, where he took the title from Randy Couture, was the 2nd biggest UFC event ever. Even more importantly, of the 10 most purchased PPV events of 2008, 7 of them will have been UFC events, assuming the card on the 27th qualifies, a lock given the talent on that card.
Speaking of that card, we’ll be watching it, most likely at the parents’ house. Possibly the first UFC card with a legitimate three main events, this is the second most talent to ever compete at one event on North American soil, only behind this year’s debut of Affliction. Forrest Griffin defends his Light Heavyweight title against Rashad Evans, Quinton Jackson faces the man who beat him twice, Wanderlei Silva, and is looking to earn a shot at getting his belt back, and Minotauro Nogueira defends his interim Heavyweight title against Frank Mir, with the winner meeting Man-Bear-Pig Lesnar in 09.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Zombie killing goodness
It’s official; I am geeking out over here. I just got Left 4 Dead for my 360, and I followed the purchase with an Xbox Live account. k1nggame, if interested. I know, you didn’t know there were still people with the system without the account. They were few, and are one fewer today.
Anyhoo, the game is absolutely ridiculous. Just nasty. You and up to three friends are survivors battling the endless zombie hordes. And I mean endless. Gone are the days of Resident Evil 2 oh-my-goodness-there-are-five-zombies-in-the-room. Try 50, including several freak zombies (more on them later). You mow through the sprinting spawn with machineguns, pistols, and shotties blazing. Sprinkle in a few pipebombs and Molotov cocktails for good measure and you have yourself a party.
The wargy is nice, but where the game really shines is the cooperation needed to survive. Where other FPSs are basically living embodiments of the “Army of One” mantra, in L4D standing alone will only lead to you dying alone. You simply cannot face the hordes by yourself, it isn’t possible. A huge part of success is built into saving your friends when they get pinned under one or more of the undead horde, and believe me, someone will get tackled and mauled. Actually, everyone will, but the difference between victory and defeat is whether those happen at the same time or not. Your bud gets knocked down you gotta clear em off and get em up.
Beyond the game of get-me-up is the simple need to cover each other, back-to-back. When you’ve got 20 zombies running at you from each direction and your shotgun only holds 8 rounds, a friend is a good thing to have. Three friends is even better.
Now, all this blood-letting joy so far is wonderful but limited. What really tacks on the next level of visceral goodness is the Versus mode, in which you can join the throngs. There are five “exceptional” zombies in the game, and you get to play four of them, though three with regularity. First is the Boomer, a fat, explosive, bile-spewing mass of ugly, whose bodily fluid attracts the horde. My least favorite to play, he can get the damage done but is too slow and unwieldy to be a party. Next is the Smoker, an ugly corpse with a tongue that shames that of Venom of Spiderman lineage. Basically he snipes with it like Scorpion in MK, dragging his victim toward him and away from his teammates. Of the three usual suspects, the Hunter is by far my favorite. Basically the zombie manifestation of the title-character of the Thief franchise, he stalks silently and then pounces on one of the survivors, ripping and tearing at their flesh. Without assistance, being pinned beneath one is death.
The fourth playable beast, more of a rarity to portray, is the Tank. Getting to be him is a rarity, which is fitting since it is momentous. He rocks it like a hurricane. Like against the office linebacker, the poor suckers never had a chance. You need a steady stream from the whole party to take down this silverback from hell. No truth to the rumor that it’s based on Brock Lesnar.
The final special zombie, who you can’t play, is the Witch. One on one means hasta la vista. You can’t beat her alone, unless you find something to climb quickly. In balance with her vicious attack (only the Tank is worse) she is the least aggressive of the undead. She sits there, crying like a child, until she is awakened. When she gets up, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Few game feelings are quite as satisfying as driving the survivors into the reach of the Witch with a well coordinated attack. Watch them fall as you pin them down one by one, their screams ‘singing in the rain’ of flying giblets of gore. Stanley Kubrick, eat your heart out.
Or perhaps a zombie will…
Anyhoo, the game is absolutely ridiculous. Just nasty. You and up to three friends are survivors battling the endless zombie hordes. And I mean endless. Gone are the days of Resident Evil 2 oh-my-goodness-there-are-five-zombies-in-the-room. Try 50, including several freak zombies (more on them later). You mow through the sprinting spawn with machineguns, pistols, and shotties blazing. Sprinkle in a few pipebombs and Molotov cocktails for good measure and you have yourself a party.
The wargy is nice, but where the game really shines is the cooperation needed to survive. Where other FPSs are basically living embodiments of the “Army of One” mantra, in L4D standing alone will only lead to you dying alone. You simply cannot face the hordes by yourself, it isn’t possible. A huge part of success is built into saving your friends when they get pinned under one or more of the undead horde, and believe me, someone will get tackled and mauled. Actually, everyone will, but the difference between victory and defeat is whether those happen at the same time or not. Your bud gets knocked down you gotta clear em off and get em up.
Beyond the game of get-me-up is the simple need to cover each other, back-to-back. When you’ve got 20 zombies running at you from each direction and your shotgun only holds 8 rounds, a friend is a good thing to have. Three friends is even better.
Now, all this blood-letting joy so far is wonderful but limited. What really tacks on the next level of visceral goodness is the Versus mode, in which you can join the throngs. There are five “exceptional” zombies in the game, and you get to play four of them, though three with regularity. First is the Boomer, a fat, explosive, bile-spewing mass of ugly, whose bodily fluid attracts the horde. My least favorite to play, he can get the damage done but is too slow and unwieldy to be a party. Next is the Smoker, an ugly corpse with a tongue that shames that of Venom of Spiderman lineage. Basically he snipes with it like Scorpion in MK, dragging his victim toward him and away from his teammates. Of the three usual suspects, the Hunter is by far my favorite. Basically the zombie manifestation of the title-character of the Thief franchise, he stalks silently and then pounces on one of the survivors, ripping and tearing at their flesh. Without assistance, being pinned beneath one is death.
The fourth playable beast, more of a rarity to portray, is the Tank. Getting to be him is a rarity, which is fitting since it is momentous. He rocks it like a hurricane. Like against the office linebacker, the poor suckers never had a chance. You need a steady stream from the whole party to take down this silverback from hell. No truth to the rumor that it’s based on Brock Lesnar.
The final special zombie, who you can’t play, is the Witch. One on one means hasta la vista. You can’t beat her alone, unless you find something to climb quickly. In balance with her vicious attack (only the Tank is worse) she is the least aggressive of the undead. She sits there, crying like a child, until she is awakened. When she gets up, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Few game feelings are quite as satisfying as driving the survivors into the reach of the Witch with a well coordinated attack. Watch them fall as you pin them down one by one, their screams ‘singing in the rain’ of flying giblets of gore. Stanley Kubrick, eat your heart out.
Or perhaps a zombie will…
Monday, December 15, 2008
Bush is a freakin ninja
Perhaps we've been wrong all along. For eight years now we've assumed Dick Cheney was pulling the strings and Bush was the marionette. Perhaps things have changed in the last few years, and when he was elected Bush but a student, but now he is the master. Whichever it is, it's impossible to deny the ninja skills.
Regardless of where you stand on his politics, no normal president could have dodged a shoe like that. This needs further investigating.
Regardless of where you stand on his politics, no normal president could have dodged a shoe like that. This needs further investigating.
Monday, October 27, 2008
OPEC = weak
OPEC announces 1.5 million barrel per day cut, crude falls 3.50.
Let’s hear it for the artists formerly known as a cartel.
Let’s hear it for the artists formerly known as a cartel.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Economic Meltdown
Today as I drove through town, nearly half the stores were closed. The streets teemed with the unemployed; it was if 1/3 of the city was just walking around, 100,000 with nothing to do but loiter. Scarier still, people looked hungry. Like all they wanted was to work, and all they needed was a job, any job at all, so they could get food for their kids. Truth is, there was barely enough food on the store shelves, thanks to the drought in the Midwest, and people with jobs could barely afford it. I couldn't believe how bad the economy had gotten.
Of course, none of this happened. Well, not since the Great Depression was at its worst in the 1903’s. Since then, we haven’t had a really scary economic crisis. In lieu of actual suffering, now we make up our crises so we can over-react and buy the swill the media sells. We are a cowardly lot, and one that loves the drama.
The economy is in a recession. That’s a fact. A financial panic? Absolutely. An “economic meltdown?” No, not quite. Actually, not even close, though I ripped that tag directly from a headline. Unemployment is up to 7%, headed for 8. It will probably even hit 9. Of course, no one mentions that during the economic boom of the 90’s, most of Europe still had unemployment from 10-11%. That’s how bad unemployment is now, only 20% lower than Europe’s in the good times. So let it be written, American capitalism is a failure!
Actually it’s not. True, the stock market is down 40%. As Ronald Reagan said, "Never confuse the stock market with the economy." Though he and I have some different ideas about economic policies, he was right; they aren’t the same. The market moves in minutes and hours, and even in seconds. The economy moves in months and years, and even in decades. So with the huge drops in the market, you might expect some huge fundamental change in retails sales the month that preceded the crash. You’d be right, and today everyone “oohed” and “ahhed” at the 1.2% drop in September. That’s right, just over a 1% drop from the biggest consumer spending September in history and people think the end has arrived. For every 100 big screens that would have sold, one didn’t. For every 1,000 shirts that would have been sold, only 988 were bought. Oh, Lordy, kill me now.
We are not in the midst of a plunge either to mercantilism or to communism. We’re okay. Something around 90% of the country made the same amount of money this month that they did last month. Heavens to Betsy. Americans are still rich. Americans are still fat. Americans still run the world. Any one who says differently is selling something. More specifically, selling a newspaper.
Of course, none of this happened. Well, not since the Great Depression was at its worst in the 1903’s. Since then, we haven’t had a really scary economic crisis. In lieu of actual suffering, now we make up our crises so we can over-react and buy the swill the media sells. We are a cowardly lot, and one that loves the drama.
The economy is in a recession. That’s a fact. A financial panic? Absolutely. An “economic meltdown?” No, not quite. Actually, not even close, though I ripped that tag directly from a headline. Unemployment is up to 7%, headed for 8. It will probably even hit 9. Of course, no one mentions that during the economic boom of the 90’s, most of Europe still had unemployment from 10-11%. That’s how bad unemployment is now, only 20% lower than Europe’s in the good times. So let it be written, American capitalism is a failure!
Actually it’s not. True, the stock market is down 40%. As Ronald Reagan said, "Never confuse the stock market with the economy." Though he and I have some different ideas about economic policies, he was right; they aren’t the same. The market moves in minutes and hours, and even in seconds. The economy moves in months and years, and even in decades. So with the huge drops in the market, you might expect some huge fundamental change in retails sales the month that preceded the crash. You’d be right, and today everyone “oohed” and “ahhed” at the 1.2% drop in September. That’s right, just over a 1% drop from the biggest consumer spending September in history and people think the end has arrived. For every 100 big screens that would have sold, one didn’t. For every 1,000 shirts that would have been sold, only 988 were bought. Oh, Lordy, kill me now.
We are not in the midst of a plunge either to mercantilism or to communism. We’re okay. Something around 90% of the country made the same amount of money this month that they did last month. Heavens to Betsy. Americans are still rich. Americans are still fat. Americans still run the world. Any one who says differently is selling something. More specifically, selling a newspaper.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A tree falls…
The old axiom asks “if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a noise?” This is not so much an honest question as a general pondering of reality and how we perceive it. As a rationalist I have little faith in theories of perceived reality. Of course the tree makes a noise when it falls. This is a matter of the laws of physics, not the presence of humans.
We humans are interesting in our concepts of our own importance. Other creatures don’t think (for all we know) in terms of philosophical ideas concerning the ‘big questions.’ They think “maybe we should get away from that lion.” Only we have the arrogance to dare to question reality in terms of us defining it. Our reality defines us, not the other way around. I do not have wings, regardless of what I think about my arms. We believe we can transcend reality simply by refusing to accept it.
Then again, perhaps our arrogance does have some basis in reality. We bend our planet to the point of breaking to make ourselves more comfortable. While humans certainly aren’t the only creatures to change their environment to better suit themselves, the scale of said changes makes any comparisons blatant fallacies. A bird picking up fallen twigs to make a home is simply incomparable to our cutting down acres and acres of forests to build suburbs. Towers built by termites are like sandcastles, not skyscrapers.
Even with all of our amazing accomplishments, we overestimate our impact. Earth will be around long after the bricks of our civilization are dust carried by the wind. No being has after impacted our planet like we have, so efficiently tapping resources from thousands of feet below the surface. But we are not forever. Nothing physical can be. And when the last human remnants are odd shaped mounds, when whatever kills off all of us and all other complex life on the planet has run its course, life will begin again, even if at the most basic level.
We humans are interesting in our concepts of our own importance. Other creatures don’t think (for all we know) in terms of philosophical ideas concerning the ‘big questions.’ They think “maybe we should get away from that lion.” Only we have the arrogance to dare to question reality in terms of us defining it. Our reality defines us, not the other way around. I do not have wings, regardless of what I think about my arms. We believe we can transcend reality simply by refusing to accept it.
Then again, perhaps our arrogance does have some basis in reality. We bend our planet to the point of breaking to make ourselves more comfortable. While humans certainly aren’t the only creatures to change their environment to better suit themselves, the scale of said changes makes any comparisons blatant fallacies. A bird picking up fallen twigs to make a home is simply incomparable to our cutting down acres and acres of forests to build suburbs. Towers built by termites are like sandcastles, not skyscrapers.
Even with all of our amazing accomplishments, we overestimate our impact. Earth will be around long after the bricks of our civilization are dust carried by the wind. No being has after impacted our planet like we have, so efficiently tapping resources from thousands of feet below the surface. But we are not forever. Nothing physical can be. And when the last human remnants are odd shaped mounds, when whatever kills off all of us and all other complex life on the planet has run its course, life will begin again, even if at the most basic level.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The American Way
On a lazy Sunday morning, after taking the dog out for a morning hike/bathroom break, I settle on the couch to surf the channels for a few pre-breakfast minutes. Fortune smiles on me and I stumble upon Die Hard on A&E HD, a cable movie channel that shows a large number of awesome, though edited, feature films.
As a believer in free speech I prefer owning the unedited versions of everything I purchase, but there is some fascination for me in viewing something I’ve seen a million times in a restricted form. It’s always interesting to see what gets cut.
Stumbling into the film just as Hans and his squad are busting up the Christmas party in the Takagi building, I was not at all surprised when the chest of an up-close topless woman was blurred away. Now, we all know the preference in American media for violence over nudity and even profanity, but the coming moments were pretty stunning by even our standards.
In his office, Mr. Takagi refuses to cooperate with Hans in opening the electronically coded piece of the corporate safe. After a countdown, Hans looks Takagi in the eyes and shoots him in the face, with a large amount of blood exploding out the back of his head and covering the glass door windows behind him. As the audience, we hear the gun fire, see Takagi’s head jerk backward, and blood cover the windows in front of the camera.
The fact that this is unedited is a little disturbing, but it is the juxtaposition with what follows that truly captures the moment. After a mishap, John McClane is upstairs, berating himself. “Why didn’t you save him, John? ‘Cause then you’d be dead, too,” followed by blurred mouth, and silence. The missing word, for those of unfamiliar with the film, is asshole.
A moment later, staring across the street into a lit apartment, a woman is undressing at a great distance. Though barely visible, even in HD, there is a blurred circle over her lower body. You’d think I needn’t explain what makes up the missing picture, but you’d be wrong. This is not some lurid shot removed for the sake of the children, but a barely discernible image from some fifty yards. The director edited the scene with distance and darkness, and we didn’t need a digital cloud to get the job done.
As a recap, the audience has now seen a man’s brains blown out in direct view, followed by the removal of a not-that-bad-of-a-word and the blurring of telescopic nudity. Graphic violence: check. Bad word and almost nudity: no check. This is the censor’s equivalent of nailing Capone on tax evasion.
I thought I was okay with the status quo in American media, but I’m just not sure I can accept it any longer. It’s just childish to be offended by one and so nonchalant about the other. I’m not arguing for on-screen sexual acts, but could we at least pare down the gap in the double standard? Either lessen the nudity controls or crank up the violence ones. We may need to examine our values as a society when we view a bad word as worse than an execution right before our eyes.Side note: after completing this post and doing a couple chores, I came back and caught the end of the movie and the beginning of the next, Analyze This. I loved seeing Karl get shot at the end of the former, blood squirting and body heaving, and then watching Paul Vitti (Robert De Niro) interrogate somebody with the censors on overdrive. Any De Niro mafia performance comes with its fair share of F-bombs, and the absence of his catch word makes for high comedy, especially when their removal comes immediately after a brutal killing.
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