Zombie killing goodness

It’s official; I am geeking out over here. I just got Left 4 Dead for my 360, and I followed the purchase with an Xbox Live account. k1nggame, if interested. I know, you didn’t know there were still people with the system without the account. They were few, and are one fewer today.

Anyhoo, the game is absolutely ridiculous. Just nasty. You and up to three friends are survivors battling the endless zombie hordes. And I mean endless. Gone are the days of Resident Evil 2 oh-my-goodness-there-are-five-zombies-in-the-room. Try 50, including several freak zombies (more on them later). You mow through the sprinting spawn with machineguns, pistols, and shotties blazing. Sprinkle in a few pipebombs and Molotov cocktails for good measure and you have yourself a party.

The wargy is nice, but where the game really shines is the cooperation needed to survive. Where other FPSs are basically living embodiments of the “Army of One” mantra, in L4D standing alone will only lead to you dying alone. You simply cannot face the hordes by yourself, it isn’t possible. A huge part of success is built into saving your friends when they get pinned under one or more of the undead horde, and believe me, someone will get tackled and mauled. Actually, everyone will, but the difference between victory and defeat is whether those happen at the same time or not. Your bud gets knocked down you gotta clear em off and get em up.

Beyond the game of get-me-up is the simple need to cover each other, back-to-back. When you’ve got 20 zombies running at you from each direction and your shotgun only holds 8 rounds, a friend is a good thing to have. Three friends is even better.

Now, all this blood-letting joy so far is wonderful but limited. What really tacks on the next level of visceral goodness is the Versus mode, in which you can join the throngs. There are five “exceptional” zombies in the game, and you get to play four of them, though three with regularity. First is the Boomer, a fat, explosive, bile-spewing mass of ugly, whose bodily fluid attracts the horde. My least favorite to play, he can get the damage done but is too slow and unwieldy to be a party. Next is the Smoker, an ugly corpse with a tongue that shames that of Venom of Spiderman lineage. Basically he snipes with it like Scorpion in MK, dragging his victim toward him and away from his teammates. Of the three usual suspects, the Hunter is by far my favorite. Basically the zombie manifestation of the title-character of the Thief franchise, he stalks silently and then pounces on one of the survivors, ripping and tearing at their flesh. Without assistance, being pinned beneath one is death.

The fourth playable beast, more of a rarity to portray, is the Tank. Getting to be him is a rarity, which is fitting since it is momentous. He rocks it like a hurricane. Like against the office linebacker, the poor suckers never had a chance. You need a steady stream from the whole party to take down this silverback from hell. No truth to the rumor that it’s based on Brock Lesnar.

The final special zombie, who you can’t play, is the Witch. One on one means hasta la vista. You can’t beat her alone, unless you find something to climb quickly. In balance with her vicious attack (only the Tank is worse) she is the least aggressive of the undead. She sits there, crying like a child, until she is awakened. When she gets up, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Few game feelings are quite as satisfying as driving the survivors into the reach of the Witch with a well coordinated attack. Watch them fall as you pin them down one by one, their screams ‘singing in the rain’ of flying giblets of gore. Stanley Kubrick, eat your heart out.

Or perhaps a zombie will…