I received the following in an email from a friend. As a warning, do NOT read this if you plan on seeing the new Nic Cage movie "Knowing". Or maybe do, then don't see the movie. This isn't so much a spoiler alert as it is a full summary of the ending.
I hereby bestow up you all, the final act of the latest Nic Cage vehicle, Knowing:
Initially believing that the last event will kill only 33, John eventually re-examines the numbers. He discovers that the final digits are not "33", but actually "EE" written backwards, and the upcoming event is a massive solar flare that will be so strong, it will kill "Everyone Else." As Diana prepares to travel to a system of caves she believes will save them, John breaks into the school to steal the door Lucinda scratched the numbers on. At his house, he begins to scrape the paint off the door, but Diana refuses to wait for him, and leaves with the kids. As the solar flare begins to reach Earth, it begins to disrupt cell phone signals, preventing John from contacting Diana. She finally is able to contact John through a gas station pay phone, and he tells her that the coordinates are those of her mother's house, which he believes is safe, while the caves won't protect them from the solar flare's radiation. When panic erupts at the gas station following the government's announcement of the solar flare, two of the"whisperers" hijack Diana's car with the two children. Giving chase in another car, Diana is killed trying to run a red light, dying exactly at midnight, on the very day her mother predicted.
Arriving back at Lucinda's mobile home, John discovers the children are safe and comfortable in the presence of the "whisperers." The"whisperers" are revealed to be ethereal angel-like beings who invite the children to escape the destruction "to help everyone start over."At first, Caleb is very reluctant to go when his father is not invited to come along; John successfully persuades him to go, saying that they will be together again eventually. The group of "whisperers" leave Earth on their "ship," a massive structure resembling Ezekiel's Wheel,as other ships also depart Earth. As anarchy reigns in New York, John arrives to be with his father, mother, and sister just as the solar flare strikes the Earth and kills everyone. In the last scene, Caleb and Abby are dropped off on what appears to be a new Earth (albeit with at least two moons) as the other ships drop off their passengers. The movie ends as the two children run toward a large white tree, possibly being the Tree of Life.
Funny, I didn't know M. Night Shymalan was at the helm. Or is this a scientology lesson?
Like I've said 1,000 times, just make another Princess Bride! What's so hard about this? Stardust did it. Just grab Neil Gaiman again, stick him in square room and threaten him until he writes another. Then make it into a movie. What's he gonna do, go to the police? He's Neil Gaiman! He's (brilliant but) twisted six ways to Sunday. Everyone will assume he's finally lost it and is slipping into one of his myriad worlds. The plan is flawless.
You know what, forget it. I've said too much. Let's agree to disagree with Mr. Cage on the quality of the films he selects. If Gaiman disappears for six months, I'm officially on bed rest.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Boo Oscars, yay beer!
Could any group of people be more predictable than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences? What a ridiculous group of chumps.
I think the overall biggest embarrassment id the predictability of the lot. Point out something they do wrong, call them prejudiced for it, then watch them overreact for the next couple of years.
The biggest example of this is the whole handling Denzel Washington. I love Denzel. I think he’s probably the best actor in Hollywood who isn’t really old, and as good as any, as well as being a good man in real life. Now look at his film biography. How he never won for Glory, Cry Freedom or The Hurricane is beyond me, but the year following people calling the Academy racist he won for Training Day. Riiiight. I like Training Day, I own it on DVD, and he was very good in it, but DMX could have played that role and the film would have been 95% identical. Seriously. Either American Gangster or Remember the Titans would have been better, roles where no one else could have done it without transforming/ruining the movies.
I’m not saying there wasn’t any racism in the history of the Academy, but what made it worse was the knee-jerk reaction to select less than perfect performances to make up for it. Jamie Foxx did a borderline Ray Charles impression and won an Oscar for it. Will Smith (a better actor) was incredible in Ali (a better movie) and lost. Now we have these “oops” moments to treasure, to gaze upon and stare back at in incredulity.
Well, two years after Brokeback Mountain lost to Crash and everyone threw the tizzy fit to end all tizzy fits (they both should have lost to A History of Violence, which wasn’t nominated), Sean Penn won for a slightly scenery chewing performance in Milk. It wasn’t terrible, but this category was stacked this year. For my pick, Mickey Rourke gave the performance of a lifetime in, The Wrestler. At least they didn’t hand Milk Best Picture, too. Way to represent, poor children of India.
Of course, it’s only right to bring up the biggest screw job in Oscar history, Shakespeare in Love topping Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture. The former is a solid, enjoyable chick flick, the latter probably the greatest war film ever made. It redefined the genre, permanently. What makes this screw job, and the victory of Crash, most embarrassing is how predictable they were in retrospect. Let’s see, we have a story about a bunch of people writing, putting on, and acting in shows, and a web of interracial interaction set in LA. I wonder why the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, in Los Angeles, went for them…
The second worst part of the Academy dropping the ball is the counter-reaction to the film “lucky” enough to pull the upset. Shakespeare is not a bad movie, but for many it’s synonymous with feces for beating SPR. I know critics who actively enjoyed Crash before it beat Brokeback, and now use it as a punch line. There’s a lack of reasoning in these antics. It’s childish to change your opinion of one piece of art because you prefer another. Children, can’t we all get along?
I think the overall biggest embarrassment id the predictability of the lot. Point out something they do wrong, call them prejudiced for it, then watch them overreact for the next couple of years.
The biggest example of this is the whole handling Denzel Washington. I love Denzel. I think he’s probably the best actor in Hollywood who isn’t really old, and as good as any, as well as being a good man in real life. Now look at his film biography. How he never won for Glory, Cry Freedom or The Hurricane is beyond me, but the year following people calling the Academy racist he won for Training Day. Riiiight. I like Training Day, I own it on DVD, and he was very good in it, but DMX could have played that role and the film would have been 95% identical. Seriously. Either American Gangster or Remember the Titans would have been better, roles where no one else could have done it without transforming/ruining the movies.
I’m not saying there wasn’t any racism in the history of the Academy, but what made it worse was the knee-jerk reaction to select less than perfect performances to make up for it. Jamie Foxx did a borderline Ray Charles impression and won an Oscar for it. Will Smith (a better actor) was incredible in Ali (a better movie) and lost. Now we have these “oops” moments to treasure, to gaze upon and stare back at in incredulity.
Well, two years after Brokeback Mountain lost to Crash and everyone threw the tizzy fit to end all tizzy fits (they both should have lost to A History of Violence, which wasn’t nominated), Sean Penn won for a slightly scenery chewing performance in Milk. It wasn’t terrible, but this category was stacked this year. For my pick, Mickey Rourke gave the performance of a lifetime in, The Wrestler. At least they didn’t hand Milk Best Picture, too. Way to represent, poor children of India.
Of course, it’s only right to bring up the biggest screw job in Oscar history, Shakespeare in Love topping Saving Private Ryan for Best Picture. The former is a solid, enjoyable chick flick, the latter probably the greatest war film ever made. It redefined the genre, permanently. What makes this screw job, and the victory of Crash, most embarrassing is how predictable they were in retrospect. Let’s see, we have a story about a bunch of people writing, putting on, and acting in shows, and a web of interracial interaction set in LA. I wonder why the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, in Los Angeles, went for them…
The second worst part of the Academy dropping the ball is the counter-reaction to the film “lucky” enough to pull the upset. Shakespeare is not a bad movie, but for many it’s synonymous with feces for beating SPR. I know critics who actively enjoyed Crash before it beat Brokeback, and now use it as a punch line. There’s a lack of reasoning in these antics. It’s childish to change your opinion of one piece of art because you prefer another. Children, can’t we all get along?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Suck it, skinheads
I wrote this before the trade policy inspired Obama-rant, but I still stand by it.
And by the rant that followed, that was posted one day ago.
I usually watch a little TV before work, as I don’t arrive till nearly 9:30, and a couple days ago I was watching this special on those sick Fs the Aryan Nations. They honestly think it is okay to kill children as long as they aren’t white. I don’t think any further argument need be made as to their level of sickness as a whole.
Tangent: watch Gangland, the best show ever. Each episode is a look at a certain gang, group of gangs, or famous gang members. Watch it, seriously. This show wasn’t Gangland, but it was a similar style and on right before it, though not a series.
Anyhow, back to business, you can’t watch these (will not use the word “people”) cretins for more than about 90 seconds before you start to hate them. Not just dislike, but hate them more than they hate minorities. Unbelievable. Well, the more of the show you watch, the more you start to get this smug little satisfaction that Obama is president. I was hoping it would be McCain, and I’m disappointed, but it has to be killing those punks. You’re thinking he’s not 100% African American by lineage, but I think that makes it even worse for them. Here he is, product of a black man and a white woman, leader of the land they’re trying to “cleanse”.
Look, I’m not an Obama supporter. I’m not much of a fan altogether, but my dislike arises mostly because I believe there should be zero tariffs or subsidies and a corporate tax of around 5%, and he REALLY disagrees. These differences aside, the thing I do like is that his being elected has to be the biggest Eff You the whole racial separatist movement has ever received.
Well, that or attractiveness of Halle Berry. I mean honestly, when one of the most beautiful women to ever live has the same parent mix as our president, that whole “purity” argument takes a pretty big hit. Not to pinch hit for the other team, but Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson ain’t a bad looking cat either, and he’s half black half Samoan. Of course that brings me to my hypocritically racist argument of whining it’s not fair he gets that racial combo while I’m stuck with a bloodline that looks like a European-only orgy. Alas, I digress…
And by the rant that followed, that was posted one day ago.
I usually watch a little TV before work, as I don’t arrive till nearly 9:30, and a couple days ago I was watching this special on those sick Fs the Aryan Nations. They honestly think it is okay to kill children as long as they aren’t white. I don’t think any further argument need be made as to their level of sickness as a whole.
Tangent: watch Gangland, the best show ever. Each episode is a look at a certain gang, group of gangs, or famous gang members. Watch it, seriously. This show wasn’t Gangland, but it was a similar style and on right before it, though not a series.
Anyhow, back to business, you can’t watch these (will not use the word “people”) cretins for more than about 90 seconds before you start to hate them. Not just dislike, but hate them more than they hate minorities. Unbelievable. Well, the more of the show you watch, the more you start to get this smug little satisfaction that Obama is president. I was hoping it would be McCain, and I’m disappointed, but it has to be killing those punks. You’re thinking he’s not 100% African American by lineage, but I think that makes it even worse for them. Here he is, product of a black man and a white woman, leader of the land they’re trying to “cleanse”.
Look, I’m not an Obama supporter. I’m not much of a fan altogether, but my dislike arises mostly because I believe there should be zero tariffs or subsidies and a corporate tax of around 5%, and he REALLY disagrees. These differences aside, the thing I do like is that his being elected has to be the biggest Eff You the whole racial separatist movement has ever received.
Well, that or attractiveness of Halle Berry. I mean honestly, when one of the most beautiful women to ever live has the same parent mix as our president, that whole “purity” argument takes a pretty big hit. Not to pinch hit for the other team, but Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson ain’t a bad looking cat either, and he’s half black half Samoan. Of course that brings me to my hypocritically racist argument of whining it’s not fair he gets that racial combo while I’m stuck with a bloodline that looks like a European-only orgy. Alas, I digress…
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Free trade or bust
If Obama doesn’t back off the free trade infringements I’m gonna use my head to open beer bottles from now on. It will hurt less.
Look, I’m trying to work with the guy. I’m willing to be the team player, as the Governator suggests, but hopping on the isolationism wagon isn’t going to help anyone. Ever. Following the First World War, we learned that closed doors don’t prevent problems, they exacerbate them. We went the other way following WWII, and built two capitalist powerhouse allies from the Axis powers.
Now we’re talking about institutionalizing “buy American” clauses, which is one giant leap for setting up trade blocks. Thanks Mr. President. Could you please arrange for some resource wars while we’re at it? Subsidies and tariffs weren’t enough, now we’re eying the triple crown of bad economic plans.
Worse than the trillions at stake is the damage to the world in all the intangible ways. Free trade is the only force out there consistently working for world peace. Government giveaways fatten the pockets of whatever warlord gets there first. Peace marches change nothing other than to help those walking feel better about themselves. The United Nations alters lingo so it doesn’t have to get involved in genocides, contrary to the founding principal the organization was built upon, cowards hiding behind a legal definition.
Independent investment only goes where it can make a profit, thereby not being grabbed by the corrupt or wasted on unsustainable projects. It only goes where it has a chance to take root, grow, and blossom. You know, like subsidized sugar in Florida….
Look, I’m trying to work with the guy. I’m willing to be the team player, as the Governator suggests, but hopping on the isolationism wagon isn’t going to help anyone. Ever. Following the First World War, we learned that closed doors don’t prevent problems, they exacerbate them. We went the other way following WWII, and built two capitalist powerhouse allies from the Axis powers.
Now we’re talking about institutionalizing “buy American” clauses, which is one giant leap for setting up trade blocks. Thanks Mr. President. Could you please arrange for some resource wars while we’re at it? Subsidies and tariffs weren’t enough, now we’re eying the triple crown of bad economic plans.
Worse than the trillions at stake is the damage to the world in all the intangible ways. Free trade is the only force out there consistently working for world peace. Government giveaways fatten the pockets of whatever warlord gets there first. Peace marches change nothing other than to help those walking feel better about themselves. The United Nations alters lingo so it doesn’t have to get involved in genocides, contrary to the founding principal the organization was built upon, cowards hiding behind a legal definition.
Independent investment only goes where it can make a profit, thereby not being grabbed by the corrupt or wasted on unsustainable projects. It only goes where it has a chance to take root, grow, and blossom. You know, like subsidized sugar in Florida….
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